Dinner, Nepali style

Tonight I had dinner at my house helper's home, along with the couple that lives in the flat above me. (Because I am house-sitting for a family who has lived here for the past 2 years, I have the benefit, not only of the use of their furniture and household items, but also a fully trained house-helper, or didi) Trying to communicate with her about our plans was a challenge, since she hardly speaks any English and I speak VERY little Nepali. It started on Sunday, when my didi was talking to me to invite me to her home. What I understood at the end of it all was that I was to go to her home on Wednesday for dinner. I was pretty sure Jodi and Matt upstairs were also invited, but not entirely sure. I knew in general the area where she lived, but had no idea how to get there, except that there was some bus you could take. And I think the conclusion was that we would touch base by phone to firm up the plans, and that her 12-year-old son could help, because he speaks English. So I talked to Jodi and asked if she could call her, which she did. During the first phone conversation, Jodi apparently kept telling her we'd come at 4:00, when she actually meant 6:00 (the 2 numbers are said very similarly), and she didn't realize it until she hung up the phone. So she called her back, and said that actually she had meant 6:00. Jodi thought all was clear, but today at 4:15, she got a call from our didi, wondering where we were! Ah, the joys...

Anyways, we arrived at 6, and our didi met us by the main road and then took us to her home. As always, we took our shoes off at the door. Her 2 sons, who were seated on the bed watching TV, were told to get off the bed, and that's where we sat. For the next 45 minutes or so, we sat and tried to have conversation. Thankfully, her 12-year-old son really does speak pretty good English, so that helped. And, also thankfully, our didi is an absolutely lovely woman (seems to be a theme that Nepali people are lovely!), and so it was pleasant, even though it was awkward given the language challenges.

The Nepali custom is to sit and talk before the meal. You don't really talk during the meal, and then when the meal is over it means that the visit is also over. So we sat and talked for awhile, and then we had dinner. It was dal bhat - lentils and cooked rice (the Nepali word for uncooked rice is different). Most people in Nepal eat dal bhat twice a day. As a side note, most Nepalis only eat 2 meals a day - one in the mid-ish morning, and then one in the evening. And they might have tea or a snack in between. Along with the dal bhat you also have some kind of curried vegetable dish (known as tarkari), and since today was special we actually had 2 vegetable dishes, and one meat dish (curried chicken). It was yummy! Most Nepalis eat with their hands, but we had spoons today. My guess is that that's because we are bideshi (foreign) guests.

Eating with your hands is not as easy as it sounds. When I was in India in 2003, I tried it, and they just laughed at me and told me I wasn't doing it right. What can be so difficult about eating with one's hands? Well, I guess there's a technique. I must have figured it out, though, because I did eat with my hands at the children's home on the weekend. They gave me a spoon, but I felt funny using it when everyone around me was eating with their hands...right hand only, really. They were happy to see that I could eat with my hands, and they told me I was doing it right. So either I've mastered it, or Nepalis are just too diplomatic to laugh at you (which is certainly possible, as they are VERY polite and don't want to offend you or hurt your feelings).

Anyways, we had our dinner, with second helpings (it would have been rude not to take seconds). And I am very full now! And then that was the end. We said our thank-yous, and walked home. It was a nice experience, and good to get into a Nepali home.

I started into my more intensive language lessons today. Had 2 hours today, and starting tomorrow it'll be 3 hours a day. I learned the remaining 20 consonants today, and now am trying to keep track of them all. Better go practice a bit before I go to bed...

Oasis!

I wasn't going to post again so soon, but I wanted to share briefly about the oasis that I just experienced in the Kathmandu valley. It's a children's home that I have known about and been indirectly connected with (through friends who have been there multiple times) for years. It is outside of the city, about 45 minutes by bus. I went there yesterday and spent the night. What a breath of fresh air, in so many ways! Very literally, the air is much fresher and cleaner. You won't find the pollution of the city out there - it is rural, much cleaner and greener, and much more peaceful than the city. At night-time, instead of all the city noises I've been trying to get used to sleeping through, all I could hear was the sound of water running through the nearby irrigation ditch. And during the day, you can hear children's voices, but that's it. Compare that to my apartment in Kathmandu, where right now, I'm hearing a plane flying overhead, construction noises, some sort of children's choir practice at the school close-by (at the moment they're singing the Nepali national anthem...jaya jaya Nepala!), honking, dogs barking, a really annoying bird crowing, lots of yelling, etc. SO nice to get away from that! And the night sky was amazing - I could actually see stars....LOTS of them.

I was welcomed in as part of the family immediately. The kids all speak pretty good English, and so communicating is fairly easy. I had young children sitting on me and close to me, and some playing with my hair. Nepal is not a touchy-feely culture at all, and I am a bit of a touchy-feely person, so that was great! I had some of the younger kids giving me Nepali lessons (and they were excellent teachers, I must say!). And I had a chance to spend time with the older kids (teens, up to age 20...about 10 of them) after the younger kids were in bed. I think there will be some good relationships developing there. The house parents have asked me to spend time with the young adults, mentoring them, etc, which I'm quite excited about. Speaking of the house parents, they're lovely! I was welcomed with open arms, and they said repeatedly that they don't want me to feel like a guest, because I am Family. How wonderful! I have also been told that I can call them anytime, day or night, if I have any problems here, and they will help me.

They have a bit of a farm...some pigs, chickens, ducks, large gardens, etc, which give them food, but also some income. Last night the mother pig delivered 12 piglets, of which 8 survived. The house father stayed outside (brr!) all night to help the pig, and make sure the piglets were okay. They will keep them for a month and then sell them.

The photos below show some of the younger kids with the house parents, and I am with the house mother in the other one.

I will probably go there most Saturday afternoons, spend the night, and come back to the city on Sunday mornings. I am really looking forward to spending more time there, and I think it will be a mutual blessing!

Cultural education

It's been a full week! I had my first 3 language lessons, each only 1 hour long, because of all our orientation activities. Besides spoken Nepali, I'm also learning to read and write, which requires learning their "alphabet" - also known as devanagari script. Thankfully there is a finite number of characters (probably about 40-50), and they are phonetic...much easier than Chinese, which has thousands of characters, and they are pictorial. It's slow going right now, but it shouldn't take long to be able to read. Understanding is another thing! I now know a few Nepali words and phrases, but that's it so far. But soon I'll go from 3 hours/week to 15 hours/week of classes, so that should get things going!

Most of the week has been spent learning about the history of Nepal and its culture. It is a fascinating country, for sure, and its political history is crazy-confusing, but very interesting once you start to figure it out. In its more recent history, there was an assassination of 8 members of the royal family in 2001, including the king - King Birendra. Nobody really knows who did it, but the most popular story is that it was the Crown Prince Dipendra. Theories about motives vary...from a desire for the throne, to his father's (and mother's) opposition towards the girl he wanted to marry. Unfortunately (?), the Prince also got shot in the process, but didn't die until 3 days later. During that time he was actually declared King of Nepal, even though he was in a coma. That was short-lived! King Gyanendra, the former King's brother, took the throne at that point, and he remained in power until a people's movement took over power and the king was deposed, sometime in 2006, I think (maybe 2005). He was actually forced to leave his palace, which is now a museum. And he is now considered a commoner. Now Nepal is a democracy, and is in the process of writing a constitution. It was to have been completed early 2011...then mid 2011...then Nov 30, 2011...and now they've decided to extend it by another 6 months. There are many political parties, and they all have their own interests, so getting this job done could be a challenge! But it seems like the Nepali people are hopeful that this will lead to a more peaceful, democratic country, than they've ever had before. Time will tell...

On a cultural note, I have learned things like:

1. Don't hand anything to anyone with your left hand - it's dirty

2. Don't sit in such a way that the soles of your feet face anyone (i.e. not with your legs straight out in front of you, or with one ankle crossed over the other knee) - it's extremely rude

3. If you've already eaten from your plate, nobody else can touch it - it's dirty (jutho). And don't touch any plate that anyone else has eaten from.

4. ALWAYS take your shoes off outside someone's home. Feet and shoes are considered very dirty, and should not touch anyone else's, or go anywhere clean

5. Don't shake hands with people...the proper greeting is to put your two hands together in front of you and give a slight bow. If your hands are full, you can simply bow your head a little bit.

On Thursday we had a little "field trip" to a few places, including the former king's palace. They made us leave our cameras in lockers at the entrance, so I don't have any photos. The rooms where the assassinations took place have been completely torn down, though the foundations are still there. There are signs showing where the royal family members were standing when they were shot. And you can see some bullet holes in the wall that is adjacent to the rest of the palace.

We also went to a square that houses the main large Hindu temples in Kathmandu. The first one we went to was the temple of the Kumari - the living goddess. Apparently there are multiple Kumaris in the area, but the most important one is this one. She is a girl, chosen around the age of 4, who matches something like 32 prescribed physical features, and then who proves that she is brave by being placed into a scary room and not getting scared. She then lives in the temple until either puberty or she has some sort of injury that causes bleeding. At that point, she ceases to be a goddess and becomes a commoner, and the search for a new Kumari begins. She apparently comes out a few times a year and is paraded around the city, but the rest of the time, she lives in this temple.

We saw many other temples and shrines as well. In the square was an interesting mix of locals (come to do their puja/acts of devotion...sacrifices, incense, ringing bells, chants, prayers), tourists (taking photos and gawking a bit), locals who really want to be your tour guide (and followed us around, even though we said we didn't want a tour guide, and interjected and told our guide that she was wrong multiple times!), street vendors (selling fruit, flowers for the puja, etc), and other vendors targetting tourists (selling flutes, necklaces, and various other things). It's quite the place!

Then, not in the square, but not too far away, is the shrine of the toothache god, where you go if you have a toothache. You hammer a nail into a coin on the shrine and it's supposed to help your toothache. Interestingly, a number of dentists have decided that this is a good area to set up shop, so there are also a lot of dentist offices around.

Finally, there was the temple where all I kept thinking was, "Feed the birds...tuppence a bag."

All-in-all, it was a very interesting, colourful, noisy, tiring day, but a good day. Good to get out and get a sense of the history and culture of the place you're living in, and to see how important religion is to their daily lives. These were just the big temples of the city. Everywhere you look, on just about every street, there are smaller ones, and there are shrines in pretty much every home. There are some Buddhist ones, as well (Tibetan influence, there), but I haven't seen as many of them yet.

Our intensive orientation activities continue until Wednesday, and then we focus on language after that. We have been given a bunch of reading to do, as well, about the culture and history of Nepal, so that learning will continue. Of course, the most important learning of culture and language will come from interacting with it, and that will happen with time. Right now it's a lot of head-knowledge, which is a good start. I will obviously never get to the point where I AM Nepali, but I pray that I will come to a point where the culture and its people are familiar to me and I can learn to live as part of it.

Settling in

It's amazing how much the little things can make a huge difference in one's sense of "settledness" in a place. I spent most of this weekend getting some items and setting up my apartment to make it feel more like home. I'm getting there. Still need to get a keyboard stand so I can set up my keyboard, but other than that, it's feeling like my space.

The first step of the process was realizing that I hadn't brought any face cloths or hand towels with me. So the day after I arrived, I went to the supermarket/department store that is very close to where I live (handy!), and got some. That made me happy. Next, I set up my toiletry hanging case that some girls in Mozambique had strongly suggested I get (thank you!) on the hook of the bathroom door. The bathroom is tiny, and there really is no shelving or storage space, so it's PERFECT.

Then I realized I wasn't feeling like I could wash my hands properly, and it was because all we had was this bar soap that I didn't like. I hadn't ever really thought about it till now, but I discovered that I MUCH prefer liquid soap, and that was also something I could get at the department store. So I got some, and that made me REALLY happy! I went twice, because first I only bought one for the bathroom, and then after awhile I realized I needed one in the kitchen, too. So back I went...glad it's not too far away. Setting up my bedroom, I realized that a bedside lamp would really help me, and so I found one - kind of a tacky one, but it does the job. And it made my bedroom SO much better. Finally, I got a mat to put outside the bathroom door. The shower area is not separate from the rest of the bathroom (that's the style in a lot of places), so the entire floor area gets wet. You keep a pair of flip flops outside the bathroom door to put on whenever you go in so your feet don't get wet. Anyways, I thought a mat would be nice so that getting out of the bathroom after a shower I could dry my feet.

Sorry if that's boring information...it's the little things that have helped to make this place feel like home. And it's the kind of thing you don't think about when everything is familiar to you and built and designed the way you're used to. So you have to think outside the box and figure out how to make something work for you. And I think I'm getting there.

Today was a beautiful, clear sunny day, and I got my first glimpse of the Himalayas, off in the distance, which was very exciting. Kathmandu is a big, busy, dirty, polluted city, and it's an interesting contrast to look off into the distance and see the mountains. They almost look fake...as if they've been Photoshopped into your view or something. But there they are. This is the view from my roof.

As I mentioned, today was warm and sunny (probably in the high teens or low 20s celcius) during the afternoon. But as evening hits, it gets chilly. I'm not sure how cold it actually is temperature-wise, but in my apartment I start bundling up as evening approaches, and usually by the time I'm ready for bed, I'm in thermals, a sweatshirt, my down jacket, a scarf, a hat, big warm booties, and I cuddle up to a hot water bottle and a little hand warmer thing. And it's going to get colder before it gets warmer...winter is still in early stages here. I don't think snow is a big thing, though. Here I am trying to stay warm:

Tomorrow is the beginning of a heavy week of orientation and my first few language lessons. I think I only have 3 one-hour lessons this week. Orientation will last about 10 days or so, and then after that it'll be 3-4 hours per day of language class (1-on-1 with a tutor), followed by an equivalent number of hours of self-study. So it'll be intense, but I'm glad I'm doing it. You can get by in Kathmandu without Nepali, but it's much easier if you speak it, and it'll be even more important once I get to Tansen. In June when I passed my surgical exams and said that I was done with studying, several of you told me that you very much doubted that I was really done with studying. Well, you were right, and it didn't take long! But it's all good.

Home Sweet Home

I've been in Kathmandu for just over 48 hours now, and am starting to settle in and get my bearings. I'm thankful that I had the time in Thailand to help me get over jet lag before coming here, because the last few days have been somewhat intense. I always find that coming to a new place I'm totally disoriented for the first few days, and then suddenly something clicks and I feel more at home, and like I've started to figure things out. That's true even if I'm in a new hospital - let alone a brand new big city in another country where EVERYTHING is new. Today I started to feel a bit less lost, and hopefully by the time Monday rolls around and I've had one more walk to where I'm doing my language study I'll feel more oriented to at least a little part of Kathmandu.

I had a wonderful, restful time in Thailand. For anyone who is contemplating moving overseas, I would HIGHLY recommend having a transition time somewhere away from home, but not in your new place yet. Especially if you're diving right into things once you arrive in your new home. It makes such a difference to at least be over the jet lag, and to have had a chance for your mind to adjust to the idea of being away from home. At least I found it very helpful.

Met with the person coordinating my language and cultural orientation program yesterday, and then had the first day of orientation today. There are 3 of us who have just arrived and will be doing the full 5 months of study, so it's nice to have some "comrades" in the process. The actual language study is 1-on-1 with a tutor, but we'll be seeing a lot of each other, and there are orientation sessions and activities that we do together. There is a guy from the UK who is a social worker and will be doing peacebuilding work in rural Nepal when his language study is finished. He lived in Sri Lanka for 3 years prior to coming here. And the other person is a woman from the US (though she has spent 10 years in Pakistan, and was just home in the US for a year or two before coming here) who is a family doctor and will also be going to Tansen. Since we're starting language study at the same time, we'll also be arriving in Tansen at roughly the same time. So I will have had 5 months to get to know her before starting there, which is nice. She won't be on the surgical team, but it's still a good thing, I think.

So far we've had lots of introductions, and then today there was a safety and security talk. Apparently earthquakes are something that people worry about around here. They do have them (most not too big, but occasionally they are), though, and so we had some "earthquake training" today. And tomorrow there is a meeting that the Canadian embassy has organized for Canadians in Kathmandu to talk more about earthquake preparedness. So I guess it's something to take seriously. If you're praying for protection, you can add earthquakes to the list.

You can also add protection from road traffic, as it seems like you kind of take your life in your hands when you walk down the street, or especially when you cross the street. I think a lot of developing countries are like that, but it's definitely true here. The trick, where possible, is to find a Nepali person who is crossing and stay close to them. But it's a bit of a "bob and weave" kind of scenario, and it can be a bit alarming. Not to scare anyone...but yeah, prayer for safety is good :)

I'm living in a flat that's nicely equipped (for an apartment in Nepal) and that is starting to feel a bit like my home, now that I've started unpacking my things and settling in. It's in a sort of out-of-the-way place, down this little lane that seems to be leading you to the middle of nowhere. But the flat itself is quite nice. And there is a couple living upstairs who are roughly my age: she's Canadian and he's from New Zealand. They've been great in terms of helping me get oriented. The walk to the language study place is about 40 minutes, and it's along this busy road, where there is lots of honking and other noise. It's quite dirty and polluted, and so far I haven't seen any sign of mountains, though supposedly this is the time of year when you can see them. There is a bridge that you cross over just before turning off the main road to get to the school, and into that river goes everyone's garbage (I saw someone getting off her motorbike and throwing her garbage bag off the bridge into the river). It's kind of gross! Then you turn off that main road and come to the "Mary Poppins school," which is where I know to turn left and get to my school! I love these names!

Anyways, overall all is well, and I'm glad to be here. And the orientation and language study sounds like it will be quite organized and comprehensive, which will give me a good start, I think. I've met some people, and I'm sure there will be some good friendship building over the next number of months, which is great. Now it's the weekend, and I plan to take it fairly easy - the first few days have been good, but tiring, with the newness of it all. And next week will be intense with more orientation and starting language study.

And so it begins...

Off to the races! Well, to the airport, anyways. I leave in about an hour to go to the airport, and the adventure begins.

It's been quite the last few weeks - a short stint in Moose Factory (which was great!), followed by 9 days of packing, last-minute errands, and good-byes. But here we are. I have 3 pieces of luggage, each weighing 70 lbs, which will result in plenty of excess luggage fees along the way, but that's how it goes when you're moving to Asia. I'm just praying for some good strong guys to find me along the way to help when needed!

My first stop is in Chiang Mai, Thailand, to visit some good friends I know from previous times in Asia. I'm looking forward to the 10 days with them, as well as the chance to get over jet lag, and let my heart transition a bit before I actually set foot in Nepal. I will arrive in Nepal November 16, and will start almost immediately into language study in Kathmandu, which will be my home until April.

So, after literally years of waiting and preparation, the day is finally here. Of course, at this time it feels a bit sad with all the goodbyes, and surreal, but I'm excited, too. And I'm looking forward to sharing the journey of the next 2 years (and beyond) with all of you.